Why I hate Shaun White and the Winter Olympics.

First off, let me start this rant by saying this:

I am American. I take Pride in being American. I have nothing against the American Olympians...well, except Shaun White. With all that said...here we go.

 

Ok, here's the scoop. Last night, Myself, Brian, Meg and Jess are sitting at the Auld Shebeen in Fairfax enjoying some fine alcoholic beverages. All the while watching the Winter Olympics. Yes, thats right, the Winter Olympics. Not basketball, football, hockey, or any other sport that requires any kind of advanced athletic ability. Oh well. So, we're sitting there watching Men's Speed Skating (Brian compares this sport to Rollerball...I don't get it. whatever.), then out of nowhere come all this hype and bullshit about Shaun White. Yep. This Kid:

 

Now this douchebag pisses me off for two main reasons.

         First, he's an asshole. No arguing this fact with me. Period. If you've ever heard an interview he's done its always gone something like this: "I knew I could do it. I am the greatest ever. I am a pro snowboarder and pro skaterboarder (ps...I do give him credit for this). All you bitches can kiss my ass." Ok, so I threw that last part in there. But, still. This prick never acknowledges his fellow Athletes. Whatever happened to being humble? Being the quiet and reserved winner? I mean, jesus christ, we all know you won the gold medal. Big fucking deal. You don't have to boast about it and jump and down like a fucking moron. The really fucked up thing about this is, did the silver medalist or the bronze medalist get anything (besides a medal)? Nope. Not even a fucking 'good job'. Tools.

The second reason is:

            This retard is getting SO much more ass than I am. I mean come on...look at this kid:

 

How is he pulling so much ass? I mean quality women. What girl in their right mind would even give this tool the time of day? Look at him. Seriously. I'll say it...he's an ugly mother fucker. He looks like Carrot Top and Cyndi Lauper got all drunked up and procreated. Yet, he's getting ass and I'm not getting shit.

       Now, I know you're all probably saying "Poole, you're just jealous." YOU'RE FUCKING RIGHT I'M JEALOUS! He's getting play and I'm not even on the field. Fuck! I know I'm at least a little better looking then that kid. Is it the money? Because, if its not about the money he must be fucking hung like a horse.

In closing on the topic of Shaun White:

            Fuck him and his bullshit holier than thou attitude. Fuck him for getting more ass than me. Fuck his shoestring arms, buck teeth and that retarded shit on his head he calls hair.

 

OK, Next Subject. Why I hate the Winter Olympics (i'll make this one short).

         First off...the sports are bullshit. Curling? What the fuck is that? I know! Lets all get together and push a rock across the ice? Come the fuck on. The luge and bobsledding. I'll group these together as they both require running for 10 seconds and then laying/sitting down. How can these be called sports? THEY REQUIRE NO ATHLETIC ABILITY AT ALL! Well, except for the 10 seconds of running. What keeps the luge going? GRAVITY. No skill whatsoever. Then we have figure skating. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. This equates to all the kids who couldn't do gymnastics decided to be figure skaters. puke. I'd bet any one of you this:

Any summer olympian could beat the shit out of any winter olympian. Hands down.

      Face it. The winter olympics suck. Period.

      Face it. Shaun White sucks. Period

 

Thats all I have. Feel free to respond.

 

Oh, and please, someone tell me I have a better shot with women that Shaun Fucking White